Article 1. Eligibility of membership - This  Boomsy Squeeza  site is only available to people who are legally able to form binding  'squeezes' between the 'Squeezer' , de Original Boomsy Squeeza,  and the  ' Squeezee' . People who are  of under age of 1 8 are not eligible for membership due to security precautions  and the R.Kelly rule of thumb . If you do not meet these requirements, you are not eligible  to be a Boomsy Squeeza .  So Gwan!

Article 2. Boomsy Squeezas  is only providing  de boomsy squeeze - We only provide  de boomsy squeezing services  to people interested in  having their boomsies squeezed (we only squeeze female boomsies) . We do not have control over the  the types of boomsies that are squeezed , and cannot guarantee the authenticity and quality of a  proper boomsy . We are not responsible for the actions  our members , before, during, and after the  squeeze of a boomsy.  So, please do use extreme caution . Use of this site is at your own risk, and content is presented 'As-Is'.

Article 3. Squeezing vs. Poking - As a  boomsy squeeza , you  can only squeeze a boomsy and not poke one - de gyals dem may be looking for a 'pokeyman' but at this time we are unified 'Boomsy Squeezas' . As a  squeeza , you know that placing a  hand on a boomsy  is  not a binding contract with you and the  ' squeezee' - the b oomsy is not considered to be squeezed.   Once you place a  hand on a boomsy , and if you  succeed in squeezing de ting , you will be  automatically be enrolled upon verification by one of the founding members . Placing a  hand on a boomsy  and not squeezing , is illegal in most  S tates /Provinces , and prosecution can result to you. As a  boomsy squeeza , the  boomsy that you  squeeze must be  ' real ' and cannot be someone of the same sex or you are considered an 'Aunty Man', 'Antiman', 'Battyman' or a 'Mama man' . Pre-s queezings are accpeted , but only to potential squeezees . Once a  single finger  has been placed  on your  boomsy of choosing , you are being placed in a binding contract with the potential  squeezee and must squeeze de ting - Poking is strictly prohibited.  Membership will be revoked if you poke a boomsy.  Once the  boomsy is poked, your membership is null and, therefore void.   Remember you are obligated to s queeze a boomsy once you place two or more fingers on de ting.  T o the potential  squeezee which  has the  bigg est b atty - hmmm hmmm - excuse me, 'Boomsy', you will also receive a gift because it takes just more than two or tree fingers to squeeze de fatty boom boom.   Please remember, once you got your eye on a boomsy,  you are obilgated to  squeeze de boomsy . As a s queeza , you are not in any way  permitted to squeeze your own boomsy .  If  it has been reported that you have squeezed your own boomsy , your  membership will be  revoked and your boomsy squeezin' days will be over .

Article 4. Nudging a boomsy  - As a  boomsy squeeza , you are welcome to  squeeze as many boomsies as you like - HECK!  We encourage you to be the best boomsy squeeza you can be .  Be all you can be, SQUEEZE A BOOMSY!  We do have restrictions on what  boomsies you may s queeze , and what you may not s queeze . You may not s queeze dutty boomsies , including  crusty boomsies, un-creamed boomsies (causes chaffing)  and  flat boomsies (c'mon, how yuh go squeeze it?  If you do, you better have a good explanation) .  Boomsies that are  eligible to be squeezed,  must be  review ed by the staff of  Boomsy Squeeza ASS-ociation , and m a y be removed without prior notice, if in violation with the  Boomsy Squeeza Agreement .  Furthermore, nudging a boomsy is NOT, and I say again, NOT, considered a squeezin of a boomsy.  Under no circumstances are you permitted to walk by a boomsy and slightly nudge it, caress it, watch-man it or pretend to squeeze it in your mind :).  You will be dismissed from the ASS-ociation.

Article 5. Charges -  Under no circumstances are you permitted to squeeze another bredren's woman's boomsy.   Squeezin a bredren's gyal's boomsy is grounds for immediate dismissal or if you do it, all de members of de Boomsy Squeezas ASS-ociation will kick your boomsy.   Do not abuse this privilege of being a member .

Article 6. Privacy - We gather your information so that other  boomsy squeezas will have it on hand when they w ish to confirm  your  membership . Personal information is not sold, rented, without y ou r permission. Personal information sent to a user regarding  the squeezing of a boomsy  is not to be used for any other purpose, except for  confirming your membership of squeezin' a boomsy .

Article 7. Warranty -  Boomsy Squeezas ASS-ociation  provide s this website in an 'as-is' condition, without warranty or condition.  Boomsy Squeezas  is not liable for any damages resulting in  the squeezing of a malformed boomsy .